Friday, September 15, 2017

Somethings I want to ask God when I get there

Really God, why couldn’t you have done something to protect the baby toe!

Why don’t people know the difference between a merge and a yield?

Why didn’t you make politicians noses grow when they lied?

Why do you always make us play like pros on the 18th hole after we have stunk the joint out on the previous 17 holes?

How did our parents get a whole lot smarter as we got older?

Why isn’t there a switch to shut our mouths at the right time?

How can ice cream make us fat?

What is the reason for eye brows?

And where did you hide the termites from Noah on the Ark?

Monday, January 9, 2017

New Year Resolutions, Part One

It’s a new year filled with resolutions.

Quit smoking.

Lose weight.

Exercise more.

My resolution this year is to find the answers to a long growing list of nagging questions.

Hear are some so let’s get started.

When it so crazy cold outside and you can barely breathe how do people still have the urge to smoke in the frigid weather?

Part 2 of that question.  What does it feel like to be smoking and hacking up a lung at the same time?

Is there a course to teach drivers how to use roundabouts?

Is there a course to teach drivers the difference between a merge and a yield?

Who wrote the manual for customer service that now teaches the term, “yeah no problem” instead of “your welcome”?

Why does the National Football League toss players for unsportsmanlike actions like fighting but allow its players to show boat?

Why does the National Hockey League have overtime and a shootout to find a winner yet still give the losing team one point?

Back to football and someone please explain to me why players insist on playing a game with bare arms when it is so fricken cold?  Is it an intimidating factor?

Why will we tolerate a politician who doesn’t live up to their work performance yet think nothing of canning an employee who doesn’t?

Why do businesses think they need to be all in with social media and yet their bricks and mortar stores and website are dismal?

Why in Winnipeg is there speed traps on Sunday mornings?  Do church people speed more than others?

Feel free to leave your resolutions in the comments.